friendsme again, im bored and i just read over my entries.
man i was freaking EMO last year
sorry about that, im sure no one wanted to read those like hour long rants.
im alot happier now.
why you ask?
(okay you probably didn't ask seeing as im a loser and no one reads this but oh well)
i don't really know
but as one of my friends would say
'no matter what it is, it has SOMETHING to do with a guy'
i guess....
i met a nice one like...i unno a few weeks ago during a project i was doing.
just that kinda connection feeling, you know (or not seeing as theres still no one reading this)
but yeah im seeing him once more this week and that'll be it so i've gotta get over it
lest i turn into a lovesick pile of goo like with the whole thing with that guy in one of my entries.
you know the guy.
the 'so have you' guy.
yeah.
see you did remember.
(just humor me;P)
but yeah my friend (who i met him through) is like okay you have three options:
1) tell him you like him
2) i'll tell him you like him
or
3) get over him and shut the hell up
so seeing as i know options 1 & 2 will ONLY end in me being rejected
(this isn't some self pity thing im serious, he's not the 'boyfriend/girlfriend' type he's more the 'have-a-ton-of-girls-to-be-with-at-the-same-time' type)
so yeah i need to get over him...
or just start falling for better guys...
or possibly growing a backbone.
lying in my field of fireflowers peace out 
by the way if anyone does read this, post a reply or something...
i feel so alone:P
hey anyone who still checks this,
sorry we haven't updated for a bit...ok like a long time...since new years...
yeah anywways not important
i kinda just felt like checking in on this to see if anything happened
(nothing did)
nothing really happened off the computer either.
by the way im less of a whiney bitch now
so it's very unlikely i'll come on here just to rant on and on about random things that i've been oversensitive about
k?
cool.
i don't really know what im going to put on here now though
well i'm going to go now...in my field of fireflowers
well the new year is looming upon us. joy. im sort of sad to say that im one of those people who dreads the new year. the parties run together, the joy seeps out of it and well as far as my life goes it feels like another year,wasted.
i don't mean to be a pessimist and and i certainly don't want to be a sadistic old woman when im older...much older but i just feel sad every december 31-jan 1. another year gone, lost can't be regained. i don't feel im wasting my life...persay but i could definitely be happier in all aspects. family, i could be happier. school, im not one to complain. guys, i have no comment whatsoever. friends are the only aspect that i feel i have succeeded in this year, and believe me it wasn't always that way. it's be a pretty rough year with all that drama. and now its gone.
i don't have any wish to rant any more, just leave anyone who feels the same way with a wish for the new year, not necessarily a happier year, or a better one, just a new year.
saying goodbye to 2007 lying in my field of somber fireflowers
well hi everyone, sry i haven't posted in a while, but i guess it's safe to say waterfli isn't coming back on, well at least not for a while. im just really psyched that this was put on google. i was really surprised, someone thinks im interesteing le gasp! well i can't think of anything to talk about although a ton has happened. concerning all formerly mentioned characters, waterfli and i are still the best of friends, dawnshower is still steady with her boyfriend, buffymchuge and i still sit together in geo and friendturnedbitchymcbitchenstien is still a bitch. in recent events i have exams soon, joy. so im studying those over winter break. btw i'd like to wish everyone a happy winter break. i myself just had christmas. in the friends department i ditched my old group because of that whole incident, stood alone for about half a day until some other friends let me join there group. I'll have to think up nicknames for them won't i...in the school department um...moving on, in the family department my brother is still a jerk, my dad is still a father and my mother..ecentric as ever but happy:P and in the love department...there is someone but no one wants to hear about that:P but i might rant about it later who knows.
wow, i probably should have split that into paragraphs...oh well
i'm back here lying in my field of fire flowers
happy halloween everyone
well for those of you who have something to do tonight. i being the complete and utter loser i am asked people to come over or go trick or treating with but either they said no, or this one group actually ditched me!
yeah i know! i got ditched on halloween. that's how much of a loser i am, but anyways, enough wasting your time.
i hope you all have a happ halloween surrounded by a mob of friends and have candy and booze till you throw up :)
lying in my field of fireflowers
brace yourselves people i have in this post the material that fluffy romances and or smutty erotic novels are made of:P
i still can't believe it happened to me of all people. i seriously am still goo over it, a pile of blissful goo.
but i guess i should start from the begining. yesterday night me and my parents (yeah i know im such a loser spending friday with my parents but you know what...shut up) were on our way to go to my uncles for a bonfire (which was kickass btw) but first we went to get a bite to eat, my dad went in to get us a table while me and my mom just talked outside for a bit (nothing special) and then we went in well what i see renders me, the woman of words completely speechless. my dad is sitting their chatting with a man at the next table over but neither my father or the man took my breath away it was the teenage boy beside him.
ok just for a time out you know in like animes or romance stories how the guys are literally IMPOSSIBLY hot? that's what this guy was. the typical Italian teenage boy with thick black hair that you just itch to play with, the glasses that actually WORK for him and i mean WORK and when he smiled at me i think i might have drooled...
but ANYWAYS so my dad notices me and my mom had come in and he's like "Girls, you remember the (making up the name here umm...) Barbieri's?" (oh yeah good italian surname making up skills fireflower) and then i remember. this family we knew from one of my brother's old hockey teams and the IMPOSSIBLY hot italian guy in front of me was on my brother's team and i remember was NOT this hot five years ago when i had last seen him. and my first thought (stupidly) was the first words that came from my mouth after staring at him.
'you've grown up.' i was starting to mentally slap myself for being so well weird until he looked me over (in the POLITE way all you pervs out there) and smiled. his response still blows my mind.
'so have you.'
i literally almost DIED and you know what at that point i would have been completely happy to ust die right there. isn't it JUST the lines that romance novels are made of 'two friends have to part early on in life but then later they get a second chance but wait is their more than friendship afoot?'.
but sadly i have to leave you now and until next time i'll be lying, in a puddle of goo, in my field of fireflowers.
im sorry I havn't been on alot lately. I've been really down, and I'm having a hard time adjusting to everything thats new around me. I'll make a better effort to get on more ... I just need to time to focus on getting my life back on track after...well, I'll talk more when I come back on.
I love you all . Well, not all of you. LAWL.
xox
spread your wings and WATERFLI
well seeing as waterfli isn't coming on anytime soon i guess it's my turn again today...and i will bore you by talking about umm...the songs i write! yes there we go, songs:).
now if you've read my previous post on wiltedflame (lmao i can't get over how i gave him such a pretty boy name sorry back to the post) i put in a song. ano, i think that one was 'why can't i be the one'. i write a lot of songs sorta like that some are about love, some are the pressure in life, some are death around us (like relatives dying), some are about apathy, and some are just for the sake of venting emotions and being all 'emo' as my friend um...BuffyMcHuge would say.
See im totally capable of making awesome names for people;). ok fireflower back on track for the poor unsuspecting readers...
ANYWAYS, yeah i thought i'd share with you some song lyrics or at least my favorite as of today. Well i'll share with you the chorus of 'Ghost of You' because it's DawnShowers fav (love you hon) and the chorus of 'Lying Beneath' because it's new and i love it So first Ghost of you:
"I feel the ghost of your breath
I hear the ghost of your voice on the wind
I fear the ghost of your death
I realize loving a ghost is a sin
But I see you once in a while
I long for the ghost of you
When I see the ghost of your smile
I’m haunted by the ghost of you"
Like it? i sure hope so:P and now onto 'Lying Beneath'
This ain’t right
This ain’t real
This is only for tonight
So why does it feel
So right lying beneath the stars
So real your hand in mine
So good cradled in your arms
So familiar lost in your eyes
So cold without you by my side
Yet so warm, with you in my sight
So complete what you feel inside
Beneath the cover with you tonight
hope you like that one to:P anyways just to you know let you know it is COVER without an S so it's NOT coverS like sheets it's a metaphor for cover as is like mask or facade, a front that we have to keep up to be accepted. and it's beneath this cover that they feel so together and happy and in love 
<-------like that, lol. and these are both for two seperate stories that im working on the first is for (you guessed it) a story called Ghost of You and the second is for a trilogy called Lying Beneath Auroras. so yeah i hope you like it and if you know you want me to be happy you could reply and talk about how good/bad i am at song writing or i could tell you bout my stories im more than happy too.:)
you can always fine me here lying in my field of fireflowers
this blog is to everyone out there who has ever felt like...well just felt. depressed, angry, hurt, betrayed, scorned, controlled, lied to, dying inside, empty. anyones whos felt anything besides happy and complete, all serene and peaceful cuz i can tell you that the world is never like that. some people cry alone at night thinking 'i may as well forget about sleeping tonight because dreaming will give me hope, and when i wake up the next day and the next this reality will never live up to what i need to feel to survive'.
and it's true. this world we live in. so imperfect and so cruel. so harsh and judgemental. uncaring and apathetic. and all of us who have felt it's tool know just how far the great have fallen. all the decedents of great visionaries, idealists and philosophers saying to treat your fellow man kindly, to care for those other than yourself, to help those in need.
but it seems now that all these groundbreaking thoughts are now just scratches of ink on pages of older times when the world was cleaner and innocent. not like now though, now that the world has turned round so many times, the ink has fading and been swept away with the wind, and for those who do remember they are just words.
it's tragic really on how we live now. ignoring the signs all around us, of how we're killing not only the world we live in but all who reside with our selfishness and apathy. i can not say that i have not been selfish or apathetic but at least i apologised, at least i know the errors in the things i've done, the way this world has changed for the worst. and how those who never deserve it are picked on the most and when their heart is shattered into bits and they've tried to escape in so many gruesome ways yet it never works and they are kept here only to have their heart shattered once more, but i hope that this makes anyone who feels like that better.
my heart and tears will always go out to you suffering because i know i've had my fair share but some are far far worse and to you i say sorry. i say to know that your loved by at least one and that words, not only mine, are more then just faded ink in the wind.
lying in my field of fireflowers, i write to you souls of the broken.
Hurt .
Unloved .
Upset .
Destroyed .
Lost .
Im a wreck. I can't stop crying. The two people I have ever truly loved, I've lost. I don't know how I can deal with this . First my best girl friend. She stopped talking to me, no explanation. Dirty looks across the classroom, Threats from her friends. I can't handle it. I NEVER did anything wrong to her, I never hurt her and most importantly, I was ALWAYS there for her . Now, the thought of something happening, and I can't get to her, can't talk to her, makes me so sad. Sad .. Actually sad. Depressed.
Then there was my guy best friend. I've known him my whole life, since the first day of JK and I've loved him ever since. Yes, I'd rather have a best friend than another ex boyfriend in a couple of months, but, I don't understand him. Sometimes, all he wants to do is talk to me, and others he ignores me and is awkward. It makes me feel terrible, like I did something wrong. I don't get it. Why does everyone in my life hate me ?
I can't stand it anymore. I'm sick of getting hurt by those I thought were close. So I don't know what to do ... any help ? You know where to find me.
xox. Fli .
